Look Before You Leap?

   Saturday, January 20, 2018 at 4PM

Look before you leap.

Also, while leaping. That makes landing easier. It would be profoundly weird if you looked, leapt, and then closed your eyes mid-leap, never to open them again.

Which brings us to landing. When you land, keep looking.

Basically, whenever possible, look. Look before you leap. Look while leaping. Look after leaping. Always look.

If you can. If you are blind or otherwise CAN'T look (say, if you are asleep or you have been blindfolded) then you shouldn't look. Because if you can't look and yet you somehow still look, you have created some kind of logical impossibility and possibly a rift in space and time through which other people might fall.

You know, if they're not looking.

Rather than specifying when one SHOULD look, it might be simpler to point out the times one shouldn't.

For instance, when counting to 100 at the beginning of a game of hide-and-go-seek.

When your bride is sneaking into the room to grab her shoes the morning of the wedding.

At an eclipse.

When your grandmother is coming out of the shower and her towel slips.

At Medusa.

If I might suggest a better saying, and this will be by no means perfect or comprehensive, then perhaps:

    Look before you leap and during and after and at all other times except when logically impossible or when counting to 100 during hide-and-go-seek or brides or towels or eclipses or Medusa.

Shove that in your Bartlett's.


41LT: Diversity in Superhero Comics

   Thursday, January 11, 2018 at 7PM

I have been telling people they're wrong on the internet for over 20 years. At a certain point, you find that you're repeating yourself. In the interest of saving myself some time and frustration, I will sometimes put together my thoughts on a topic here, in a recurring featuring I call "For One Last Time."

And then, I don't know. I can link to it or whatnot.

Today, diversity in superhero comics.

KEEP READING "41LT: Diversity in Superhero Comics"


Quantum Leap and Non-Productive Non-Productivity

   Thursday, January 4, 2018 at 8AM

In the old days, before cellphones, people had nothing to do while standing in bank lines or walking into oncoming traffic. We only had two options, "paying attention" or "day dreaming," both of which are essential skills for a writer, although I have always been partial to the latter.

A normally-wired human might see these as the "productive" and "non-productive" choices (where "productive" equals "not run over by a car") but a writer knows better. A writer weaponizes "non-productivity" to generate food and shelter and hate mail. There is an awful lot of brainstorming, writing, and revising that can happen in one's head. This is what we call "productive non-productivity."

But if there is "productive non-productivity," there must also be "non-productive non-productivity," and I enjoy this too. Daydreaming too much about stories that aren't going to go anywhere. That are never going to pay your rent or buy you a cheeseburger. But maybe, maybe, maybe this kind of daydreaming can be turned to productive ends too. "Productive non-productive non-productivity."

That is today's rabbit hole. And/or an excuse to talk about the TV show Quantum Leap and reboots in this era of peak TV. Let's jump in.

KEEP READING "Quantum Leap and Non-Productive Non-Productivity"


Hello, 2018

   Monday, January 1, 2018 at 12PM

Happy New Year, everybody, and welcome back to drewmelbourne.com!(And/or its syndicated blog feed!)

This year I'm thrilled to announce that I'll be releasing a new novel, Percival Gynt and the Conspiracy of Days. It's a sci-fi/fantasy/horror/comedy/mystery/adventure story. Basically everything I love about genre fiction squished between two covers.

More details to come, including when precisely you can buy a copy, where, and how much it will cost you. Keep coming back here to drewmelbourne.com (and/or its syndicated blog feed!) for all of that, plus behind the scenes looks into publishing a novel and assorted musings on life, politics, pop culture, and pre-Raphaelite stone masonry. (At least one of those is probably not a thing.)

In the meantime, here are some places that you can find/like/follow me across the web:


Batman, LEGO BATMAN, and a Child's Justice

   Tuesday, November 28, 2017 at 11AM

Finally had the chance to sit down and watch the Lego Batman movie this past weekend, and now I have bat-thoughts (nana-nana-nana-nana BAT-THOUGHTS!) that I need to share. This will be a little bit of a review, but mostly Drew pontificating on the nature of Batman. (An event more commonly known as "Tuesday.")

As a side note: I once sat down to play a Batman video game without realizing (until it was later pointed out to me) that it was Batman Day and that I was wearing a Batman T-shirt. I am just that Batmany.

Since the movie came out way back in February, I'm not going to be precious about spoilers. So if you REALLY don't want to know who Batman is beneath the mask, turn back now!

KEEP READING "Batman, LEGO BATMAN, and a Child's Justice"


Site Tech

   Monday, November 13, 2017 at 10AM

For those curious, I've dusted off an ollld version of the Movable Type blogging software to power this site and, because it's so old that I couldn't figure out how to get the site search to work properly, I plugged in the Fluid Dynamics Search Engine.

Also fundamental to the site's design: this handful of toothpicks and this wad of chewing gum.

My recollection of the story of the three little pigs is that the straw house was the most awesome house. That's right, right?


Just Checking

   Wednesday, November 1, 2017 at 4PM

No, this doesn't mean anything either.

KEEP READING "Just Checking"


No, You Didn't Miss Anything

   Tuesday, October 31, 2017 at 4PM

Working on overhauling website. (Again.) You will notice many, many broken links and things announced which have not yet happened. Please ignore.