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We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Now please eat two steaks!
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This song is sung to the tune of R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet, Part 6.
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Two steaks you will eat,
But at separate meals!
And steak and eggs doesn't cow-ount,
So don't pull that crap!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Please, please, eat both steaks!
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There is no logical justification for the prohibition
against steak and eggs, except my deep-seated disdain for all things
breakfast-foody.
(And I think at one point I was under the impression that the steak in "steak and eggs" wasn't really steak, the same way that Canadian bacon isn't really bacon. Stoopid Wikipedia.)
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Each year Double Steak Day is celebrated,
On the third Sunday in December,
Or the second Sunday, if the third is too close to Christmas.
Don't worry, we'll let you know if that's the case. We know that it's a hard rule to remember!
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December 14th, 2008.
December 13th, 2009.
December 19th, 2010.
December 18th, 2009.
December 16th, 2010.
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We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Dude, seriously, eat two steaks!
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Have one steak at home,
And another outside!
Have one with your family,
And one with people you like!
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We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Steak, steak, steak, steak, steak!
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You know, the choruses can't all be winners.
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We said eat two steaks!
No less and no more!
It's specifically DOUBLE Steak Day!
So don't eat one, twelve, or four!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Also, don't eat 2.124653!
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Some highly acclaimed steak houses *cough* Schmeter
Schmoogers *cough* serve customers from one giant cut of meat. This is
okay 364 days of the year, but not for Double Steak Day. You must eat two distinct steaks, not two servings of steak meat that roughly equal two steaks-worth of steak.
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If - and only if - you're a vegetarian or can't eat steak for medical reasons,
You can eat two grilled-cheese sandwiches instead,
But how you get them into the steak house of your choice
Is entirely on your head!
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Some have speculated that the phrase "entirely on your
head" means that you have to transport the grilled-cheese sandwiches
into the restaurant on your head (perhaps beneath a hat). This
speculation is correct.
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We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We apologize to - but unfortunately cannot accommodate - Vegans!
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Also un-accommodate-able:
Vegetarians who are lactose intolerant.
Anti-milkitarians who are vegintolerant.
Jerks.
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You have to play checkers,
At least once on Double Steak Day!
If you want, you can make a wager,
And the worst player pays!
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Checkers has been an annual tradition since the first
Double Steak Day, frequently with an improvised board made out of
napkin bits - which is how the ancients played it.
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We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
Eat two steaks or your dead to me!
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Double Steak Day is abbreviated:
DSx2!
Do not abbreviate it "DSD" or,
There will be sudden, unexpected, and unpleasant consequences!
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For anyone who's confused, the "D" stands for "Day of."
And the "S" stands for "SDrew mistyped SDx2 but stubbornly refuses to
admit mistakes."
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We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
We wish you a Double Steak Day!
MAKE SURE YOU LEAVE ROOM!
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Yay, steaks!
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