To those of you (you know who you are) who sought fit to point out to me that the label on the back of my pants reads "Ganana Republic," I would like to make four, clear points:

First, please, stop looking at my rear end.

Second, yes, of course it says "Ganana Republic."

Third, it is pronounced "Guh-Nah-Nah."

Fourth, honestly, if you think about it, wouldn't you rather have pants made in the Free and Democratic Republic of Guh-Nah-Nah, as opposed to pants made in the Free and Democratic Republic of, you know... bananas?

Yes, it's true that Guh-Nah-Nah, for all of its constant self-promotion, extolling the virtues of freedom, democracy, and... republicanism? Um. Despite all that, they DO only pay their children about seven cents an hour to sew their "national pants" in steamy jungle sweatshops.

But! (And this is going to be a BIG "but." Not to be confused with a big butt. Which reminds me to remind you one more time, stop staring!) But, my friends...

...these are mighty comfortable pants.

Certainly, much more comfortable than any pants that those crazy, yellow, potassium rich tailors in the F&DRoB have ever made!

So I say, "Down with bananas! Up with Guh-Nah-Nahs!"

Who's with me?