Have you ever picked up a razor and said, "This should vibrate more?" Well, if so, you're in luck! With the holidays fast approaching, now's the time to ask the person you love most in the world to give you the M3 Power Razor from Gillette.

(Unless it's from Shick. Honestly, who can keep them straight?)

Here's a picture:

Psyched yet? Well, if not, here's a stirring testimonial from my good friend... me?

"Hi, me. And hello to everyone out there in our home viewing audience!

"Now, people ask me all the time, 'Does a razor that vibrates actually provide a better, cleaner shave?' And I tell them what the seventeen year old sales clerk at Duane Reade told me.

"'How should I know?'

"Now, I have to admit that I was an little concerned using a electric razor in the shower. What if I got electrocuted?

"But, remember, nothing says 'precision and control' like the abject fear that you're about to electrocute yourself, slip, crack your skull open, die, and rot for several weeks until your next door neighbor calls the cops and they find your naked corpse lying on the bathroom floor in a stain of your own dried blood.

"(That reminds me: Who wants lunch? I'm ordering Thai in a couple minutes.)

"And I have a slight, natural hand tremor already, so that's neuroses PLUS poor motor control. Now, add to that a razor that shakes INDEPENDENTLY?

"Smoothest shave of my life. Seriously. Must counter-balance or something..."

There you have it, folks! If you want a smooth, smooth shave, just pick up the M3 Power, imagine the worst thing you could possibly imagine, and develop a mild, but frustrating palsy.

("Worst thing you could possibly imagine" and "mild, but frustrating palsy" sold separately. Offer not valid in Utah.)