Barack is a Poopy Head
06.20.08
In the world of political journalism, there is no newspaper as universally trusted and beloved as The New York Post. So if The Post criticizes a candidate, you know it's for good reason.
And that's why I was taken aback by The Post's recent headline:
Could this be true? Has Barack Obama broken a solemn campaign vow and betrayed the voters' trust? The answer, sadly, is yes. I assume. I mean, it's in The Post, so it must be true, right?
After all, The New York Post is the last great bastion of journalistic integrity in modern American news reporting.
And here's a scoop for you! Here are some other vows that Barack "Liar Pants" Obama has recently broken and/or is clearly planning to break the very next opportunity he gets:
- "I'm going to order a ham sandwich for lunch." (LIAR! You ultimately ordered a turkey sandwich instead!!!)
- "I'm going to TiVo the ball game." (LIAR! You watched it live on ESPN2!!!)
- "I'm going to finish reading that Sue Grafton novel next week." (LIAR! You're busy next week, and won't quite be able to finish the last chapter till the week after!!!)
- "When I'm President..." (LIAR! Only a witch can see the future. Are you a witch, Mister Obama? The American people demand answers!!!)
- "What we need to do right now is stay the course." (LIAR! You... Oh wait. That might have been the current guy.)
Remember, ladies and gentleman: if you change your position on an issue you are a liar and a flip-flopper and your head is made of poop NO MATTER HOW THE FACTS ON THE GROUND MAY CHANGE.
Because, if there's one thing that real men honor more than their commitments, it's their tentative, preliminary commitments.