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Couch or Trike

   06.26.08

At this point, it doesn't look like I'm going to be heading out to San Diego this year. As much as I enjoy the con, it doesn't make much sense to go all the way out there if I don't have: (a) a book to promote, or (b) a book to pitch.

And, to be honest, I'd rather spend a week working on new material than a week explaining why there is no new material.

And while I will miss being at the con, there's one definite upside to my decision. I've saved myself a big chunk of cash.

But what do I do with this cash chunk? That is an excellent question, my most theoretical inquisitor. An excellent question with only two possible answers...

COUCH OR TRIKE?!?

As the ancients have struggled to answer this vexing question, so struggle I now. Also, with word order.

Let us begin by considering the couch:

 

 

With the old roommates moving out and the new roommates moving in, now is an excellent time to buy grown-up looking furniture. I'd also like to paint my apartment, but let's not get crazy all at once.

Buying a little couch would be a good first step.

Let's look at the pros and cons:

PROs
  1. brown is the color of adults
  2. excellent for sitting
  3. 99% sure it will fit in my apartment*

(*I have a narrow front hall.)

CONs
  1. brown also color of doodoo
  2. adults are like children, but with broken dreams
  3. 1% sure it will not fit in my apartment*

(*Seriously, it's very narrow.)

But what about the trike?

 

 

A quick confession: I never learned how to ride a bike when I was a kid, but up until I was age 4 I really enjoyed this little red tricycle that my parents bought me. I think it would be fun to have a man-trike.

Let's weigh the pros and cons:

PROs
  1. excellent opportunity to say "man-trike" frequently
  2. whimsy
  3. reduces carbon footprint
CONs
  1. may attract bullies
  2. 'inconvenient truth': I am not 4
  3. 1% sure it will not fit in my apartment*

(*Ibid.)

So which do I choose? Wow, this is just like The Lady and the Tiger!

I'm probably going to make my decision over the next few days, but if you'd like to weigh in, please send me an email at this fake looking email address:

CouchOrTrike@drewmelbourne.com

I will run the funniest emails in a future column probably not read your email.

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