As the diehards know, Double Steak Day has its own song which explains just about everything you need to know about the holiday.

To date, the song has only ever appeared in written form, but earlier this week, I attempted to sing the thing outloud into a microphone. Now, the rhyme and rhythm of the song are deliberately goofy. Sometimes you have to sing real fast to get the words to fit into the space allotted. Understood. That was not the problem.

The real problem was this:

Oh my goodness, I should not be allowed near a microphone.

I'm currently looking for someone to record a proper version of the song as an MP3 or a YouTube or what have you. If someone produces an awesome version of the song for me before Double Steak Day, I promise to buy that person a steak*.

That said, if no one produces an awesome version of the song for me before Double Steak Day, I will be forced to upload up my own, horrific version.

You have been warned.

(*Please note that this is not a contest. If lots of people send me awesome versions of the song, I can only promise that I will buy a steak for the first most awesomest songmaker, but that person is not a "winner" and that person has not "won," because TINAC.)