For those not familiar with the details of the case, "Jets v. Sharks" began as a dispute over territory between two rival gangs operating on New York's troubled West Side. One gang, the Jets, was made up of native New Yorkers. The other, the Sharks, was comprised of Puerto Rican immigrants. Their heritage set them at odds, but it was an ill-fated love that threatened to destroy them.

(Cue overture.)

In her exhaustive 152 minute opinion, Judge Sotomayor addresses many hot-button issues, never shirking from speaking directly to her own cultural roots or even taking her native Puerto Rico to task when necessary, as when she advises:

"Puerto Rico, my heart’s devotion. Let it sink back in the ocean. Always the hurricanes blowing. Always the population growing. And the money owing."

A harsh critique indeed, though it should be pointed that she is equally harsh to the United States, as when she argues:

"Everywhere grime in America. Organized crime in America. Terrible time in America."

Underlying all of this negativity is a hint of xenophobia. At one point in her opinion, Sotomayor cautions young Puerto Rican women to choose "one of your own kind, stick to your own kind."

Surely the Gingriches and Limbaughs of the world will jump on this sentiment and label it "reverse-racist," but this does not take into account the full context of Sotomayor's opinion.

Elsewhere in the text, she provides what can only be described as a stirring, soaring vision of unity between the races:

"Make of our lives one life. Day after day, one life. Now it begins. Now we start. One hand, one heart."

And in another passage, she provides a penetrating analysis of defense council's arguments:

"She thinks she's in love. She thinks she's in Spain. She isn't in love. She's merely insane. It must be the heat or some rare disease. Or too much to eat or maybe it's fleas."

Yes, maybe it is fleas. A great judge must consider all possibilities before rendering a verdict.

Sotomayor's opinion also touches on several other hot-button issues of the day including partial-birth abortion...

"A boy like that wants one thing only, and when he's done, he'll leave you lonely. He'll murder your [unborn baby at some point during your final trimester]."

Gay marriage...

"I feel pretty. Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty, and witty and gay. And I pity any girl who [can't legally marry another girl and receive all the same rights and protections as afforded to a straight couple under federal law]."

Detainee rights...

"Today the minutes seem like hours, the hours go so slowly, and [because of this Jack-Bauer-esque "ticking clock" scenario, I am forced to waterboard you]."

And flag burning...

"[I, Judge Sotomayor, am opposed to flag burning], tonight!"

As previously indicated, Judge Sotomayor's was the dissenting opinion on this case. In the majority opinion, then federal judge Anton Scalia concluded:

"In the opinion on this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home."

Well said.

One other point of order: I would be remiss in my blig-bloggery if I did not weigh in on the plagiarism charges that have long dogged Sotomayor's "Jets v. Sharks" opinion.

After reading both opinions, it's clear that "Jets v. Sharks" is intended as an homage (repeat: homage) to Justice Shakespeare's landmark "Capulets v. Montagues."

 
(My sincere apologies to the nominee and to all Puerto Ricans everywhere ever, including all my neighbors here in Spanish Harlem.)

(West Side Story is now playing on Broadway.)